Twilight: A review

[armus]

Hmm. I've found a review for Twilight on a different rp site and I think it addresses some good points. A good wake-up call for some blind followers of the series, I think. It says things somewhat harshly at times, but is nonetheless a good review.
Here it is:

Twilight is a pretty bad book. That's my opinion.

Hey, I like vampires as much as the next nerdface, but seriously. When my friends told me it was a great book and I should read it, I was deceived. It made me worry about the standards of the newer generations if these books are "The Best Books Ever."

The author kind of fails at poetic imagery. Characters are given the briefest descriptions, as are the scenes around them. Oh, unless you count Emo Vampire Boy. As my beloved Zen_Dragon has stated many times before to the fools who dare contest her judgment, his unprecedented levels of hot are described rather in excess.

Every. f**king. Time. He appears.

I guess this can be blamed on the failsome narrator, with her two-dimensional personality and blind love for Emo Vampire Boy.

I mean, honestly. The girl really has absolutely no personality. The fact that she's clumsy does not, alone, give her character. It's more of a lame attempt to disguise the fact that in other regards - such as the fact that she just so happens to be the single most attractive human ever to the evidently uber hawt Emo Vampire Boy, and has a massive following of human guys besides - she's a complete Mary Sue.

Philosophy was touched on in the book a couple of times. But done in the most superficial way possible. I can't help but prefer poetic book with a deep philosophical message here and there. You know. Something truly thought provoking. Not just random, boring exchanges of dialogue and pointless romance for hormonal teenagers.

And don't even get me started on the bastardization of vampires in general. They shine in the light? What. The. f**k.

Emo Vampire Boy just became a Gary Stu.

So basically we have a whole cast of characters who are either completely perfect, or who are deeply flaws just to act as foils for the perfect characters.

And no one actually has any real personality. None of them. A real personality consists of paradoxes and contradictions. No one is completely one way. But evidently, no one told the writer of Twilight, whatever-her-name-was.

I'm actually really, really saddened by how ill informed I was. I had assumed that I could trust the word of those who told me that it was a great book, and alas, I'm sorry to say I spent my own money on a copy of this piece of badly-written, uninteresting, high school drama trash without knowing beforehand that it fails hardcore.

And yes, it IS badly written. Go back to the classics, children. Maybe try some Anne Rice; as pretentious as it sometimes is, it cannot be denied that she is a d**n good writer with a delicious style.

As opposed to the utter lack of style in this Twilight book.

But yes. That's my opinion. Enjoy the text block of spam.

[AliceCullen]

Edward's not an Emo Vampire boy.
Just a Vampire. Seriously what Emo person you know wears sweaters and have bronze hair.
So if anyone would stereotype him at all it would be more Prep than Emo. And were it says about the 'Bastardization of Vampires' God forbid that someone uses imagination and changes the what Vampires are usually thought of.

And Armus, I know that you didn't write this so none of this is adressed towards you.

[Stacie]

yeah Edward is more of a prep then Emo. sure he is emotional but thats about it. but yeah everyone thinks a vampire is evil and scary. these ones they are making them so they can get their prey easier

[Bella]

The author kind of fails at poetic imagery. Characters are given the briefest descriptions, as are the scenes around them.

Meyer is descriptive of each character. She left some things open so we could have our own ideas on how the characters looked.

I guess this can be blamed on the failsome narrator, with her two-dimensional personality and blind love for Emo Vampire Boy.

I mean, honestly. The girl really has absolutely no personality. The fact that she's clumsy does not, alone, give her character. It's more of a lame attempt to disguise the fact that in other regards - such as the fact that she just so happens to be the single most attractive human ever to the evidently uber hawt Emo Vampire Boy, and has a massive following of human guys besides - she's a complete Mary Sue.

She is about like any other girl at first, until she meets Edward. And if you think Edward is Emo, wrong book or you don't know what Emo is.

And don't even get me started on the bastardization of vampires in general. They shine in the light? What. The. f**k.

[/i]
Not all vampires books have to be the same, if they were it would be so boring.

So basically we have a whole cast of characters who are either completely perfect, or who are deeply flaws just to act as foils for the perfect characters.

And no one actually has any real personality. None of them. A real personality consists of paradoxes and contradictions. No one is completely one way. But evidently, no one told the writer of Twilight, whatever-her-name-was.

[/i]
I don't think this person even read the book. None of the characters are perfect, all of them have flaws. All of them has a personality.

And yes, it IS badly written. Go back to the classics, children. Maybe try some Anne Rice; as pretentious as it sometimes is, it cannot be denied that she is a d**n good writer with a delicious style.

First off Anne Rice is not classic. Second, a lot of people don't like classics, if Twilight can get people to read then I think its great!




Ok everything of mine was really short, I don't have a lot of time. None of this was aimed at you armus. I'm only stating my ideas.

[armus]

^^ Hey. Twilight fans actually putting up a solid defense. Jacobs_Imprint, when I showed her this in real life, had no rebuttal whatsoever.

=/ However, I do agree with this review on a few points.

1. In comparison to other characters, Edward gets a very disproportionate amount of description. Every time he shows up.
2. Vampires sparkling. Now you may say 'God forbid somebody put their twist on vampires'. But I don't even see fit to call them vampires. They have no weaknesses, magically get more beautiful than any mortal as soon as they are turned (from what I've deduced from conversations in the book), sparkle in the light (what the hell, Meyer...what the hell? If I saw some guy sparkling in sunlight, I'd probably laugh at him.), and one more problem with one specific vampire. Edward Cullen. He hangs around a high school, for godsakes! Now why would any age-old immortal being hang around a High School, if it wasn't to bang high school girls? Of course, he's not there for that, and why he goes there is never even touched upon in the book!
3. Edward is a total Gary Stu. He's physically perfect in every single way (especially his hair, so says Mrs. Meyer) and he only has a peculiarly minor emotional flaw. That's a little thing called "angst". He has quite a lot of it, and for some reason sees being a vampire as a curse. Yes. Being perfectly beautiful and having super strength and speed is a curse. The only drawback is drinking blood. Whoopity-freakin'-doo. If that amount of angst isn't 'emo' I'm not quite sure what is. Emo isn't how you dress. Emo is how you act, and how you perceive life. Therefore: Edward is quite indeed emo. But back on topic. Physical Appearance: 10/10 (As is how Mrs. Meyer drilled into our heads) Emotional Attractiveness: 9/10 Overall Attractiveness: 10/10 As in...he's perfect, and therefore a peculiarly boring character.



.....I could say far more. But I won't. I'll save some ammo for later.

[twilightrocks1]

i completely disagree. none of the characters in twilight are perfect. they make mistakes just like anyone else. the author never says that edward is perfect she describes how perfect he is to bella. edward is old fashioned and polite and he has eyes for no-one but bella. the author describes each character throroghly FROM BELLA'S POINT OF VIEW. sorry that vampires in this book arent bloodsuckers that have fangs and burn when they get in the sun. excuse her for trying to be different and creative. and if the book was as bad as you said then why are they making it a movie? surely many people disagree with you. edward is not emo by the way. i understand that everyone has different opinions but why try to make us change what we enjoy. i dont know why you're making such bad remarks about twilight when clearly its one of the best books ever. by the way some of the classics are not good at all.
**eragon was a waste of my time. thats the book u should be critizising.

[Bloodlust]

All books are different. Big deal if she put a twist on vampires. I don't see you critisicing the tv show Moonlight for it!
You gunna start of Harry Potter next, coz witches are classically portrayed evil and coz wizards use staffs instead of wands? or coz the dragons dont steal young maidens?
Variety is good, and if every book was like the classics books would be DULL and REPETITIVE!
I've had my little rant now, I'll be off.
P.S. you said this was found on a Twilight fansite, why on Earth would you go to a fansite to bag the book out?
P.P.S. Emo is a style of MUSIC!

[Stacie]

also Edward does have flaws he trys to point them out to Bella but she doesn't see it. If you would of read past Chapter 5 Armus you would of knew that. Even me and Jaclyn told you that. and your own girlfriend. Trust me Edward is not even close to Emo If you want to say someone is emo say Mike is because he gets sad cuz he can't get Bella or even Jacob(no offense Jacob lovers) but Edward does try to tell Bella she shouldn't be with him.

thats all i have to say for now

[Jacob's_Imprint]

RICHARD JAMES! I told you that I don't give a dang what you think about the book as long as you don't say Edward is a emolious boytoy! GOSH! I thought you were over guys now that you're with KRisten but obviously you're not!

[armus]

=] Fresh meat. Where to start? With the first post I suppose.

alice cullen: Edward is annoyingly close to perfect then. He's a Gary Stu, through and through. Any flaws he may have are peculiarly minute and unimportant. And I'm not against the change of vampires. But what Meyer did to vampires made them different creatures entirely from the original mythos. She might as well have come up with a different name for them. I'm very sick of hearing this "counter argument" as it is stale by now. If I were to write a book where vampires turned into wolf-like beings during the full moon and were allergic to silver, should they still be called vampires? Would people be upset with me? Different ≠ Creative. And Creative ≠ Good. Sparkling in the light? Makes them instantly more beautiful than ever? Another point where I say the vampires, especially Edward, are Gary Stus. They are all exceptionally beautiful, with no physical flaws. Boring. They're making a movie to cash in on all the overly-horned up teenage girls who are desperate for some romance with the fictional personification of perfection. And they make movies of "bad books" all the time. You referenced Eragon as a book I should criticize instead? Did they not make a movie about that? And compared to the book, the movie was horrible. Lets pretend for a moment Twilight was decent. Somebody in Hollywood is going to completely ruin the movie. But seeing as how its a "bad book", it will beget a bad movie. In theory at least. Edward has emo tendencies that can't be denied. He angsts about being a vampire during certain points of the book, and how bad it is. With the stereotype in mind, Angst = Emo. Would I complain about being an all powerful race with superior strength, speed, and beauty to any other race? No. Drinking blood is a small price to pay, especially if I was able to quench my thirst on animals. Not that I personally would mind drinking the blood of humans, as they would all be below me anyways. I don't know why you're defending the book with opinion statements, when "clearly" opinion statements don't hold water in any serious argument.

Bloodlust: You don't see me criticizing the show Moonlight because I don't watch it. I don't watch T.V. in general, but I've avoided that show in particular for more entertaining-looking ones such as C.S.I. or Criminal Minds. Those I tend to watch with my mum, who got me interested in this sort of thing. Looking at the ads for Moonlight, it did look...to be blunt, stupid. Harry Potter was witty and creative, and J.K. Rowling created an entire fictional universe. It was executed beautifully without the need for a perfect lead character. He was famous and rich, true. But he had realistic problems in his life, and his fame was cleverly turned against him by a devious character. Harry had a serious amount of angst too, and I would consider him "emo", but I have nothing against emos. I have something against Edward Cullen, but not because of him being emo. We're getting off topic here. Or I am, rather. I've already countered your argument, as can be seen in my reply above. If you aren't as lazy as me, please take the time to read it. And I actually said I found this on "a different rp site", not another Twilight site. Sorry if I confused you. And "emo" is a style of music, true. But this style of music spawned a cult following of people who dressed a certain way and acted a certain way stereotypically. We call this look, style, and attitude "emo" to lump it into a group, like all of us as humans do.

@ jasluver16: I should really just ignore this post, as I've already answered most of it above. But to point out one thing: I read up to Chapter 12. I pushed my way past Chapter 5 with some difficulty, just telling myself "oh, well the beginnings of most books are usually boring. The rest will be better." Looking through the whole thing of what I read, I thought to myself, "...The book certainly isn't getting any better" and just set it down. Also, Mike is a realistic character. He has realisitic emotions, such as oh, say...jealousy? Not emo. Just a jealous mousy kid with some hopes and dreams. Case closed.

@jacob's_Imprint: The fact that you try to bring up that I like guys, where in fact I don't, brings up some questionability. This fact merely proves that you are jealous of my ability to obtain and maintain a relationship for over a year, while you still aren't allowed a relationship. I find it quite amusing you bring up something completely unrelated to the topic at hand, and the actual thing you said doesn't even make a slight of sense.

[Jacob's_Imprint]

YEAH WELL I HATE YOU RICHARD! SO THERE!

[armus]

No rebuttal? I win. >] But then again, this all boils down to opinions. So eventually, this argument would devolve into "Nuh-uh" and "Yeah-huh". Read what you like, and it'll keep everybody happy. I was simply stating why I dislike the book and is why I put "bad book" in quotations every time I said it.

[Bloodlust]

Godd rebuttle I suppose I must admit. You're right though, it boils down to a difference of opinions. And if we're going to argue, it would be more interesting to move onto a more interesting topic than a review of Twilight, something like global warming, of the effects of religions.

[Stacie]

Apr 29, 2008 10:44:21 GMT -5 armus said:

@ jasluver16: I should really just ignore this post, as I've already answered most of it above. But to point out one thing: I read up to Chapter 12. I pushed my way past Chapter 5 with some difficulty, just telling myself "oh, well the beginnings of most books are usually boring. The rest will be better." Looking through the whole thing of what I read, I thought to myself, "...The book certainly isn't getting any better" and just set it down. Also, Mike is a realistic character. He has realisitic emotions, such as oh, say...jealousy? Not emo. Just a jealous mousy kid with some hopes and dreams. Case closed.

Well you always change what chapter you have read up to so how the hell am I suppose to remember. Plus maybe if you might of read more instead of gave up you might of liked it and if you weren't judging it before you read it then yeah maybe you should because Josh kept saying he wasn't going to like it but look He liked it and he didn't judge a book by it's cover or by reading only 12 chapters. He read the whole book before he decided if he liked it or not. Maybe you should do that instead of saying its crappy before you finish it

@jacob's_Imprint: The fact that you try to bring up that I like guys, where in fact I don't, brings up some questionability. This fact merely proves that you are jealous of my ability to obtain and maintain a relationship for over a year, while you still aren't allowed a relationship. I find it quite amusing you bring up something completely unrelated to the topic at hand, and the actual thing you said doesn't even make a slight of sense.

RICHARD JAMES RUSSELL that isn't a nice thing to say to your cousin. Just because you think your god doesn't mean you have to put other people down. Have you ever thought there was a REASON for her not wanting to date. Plus you have to remember that even if you have been dating Kristen over a year still doesn't mean you can be mean to everyone who doesn't have a boyfriend.

[spider]

I shall state my side of my opinion(s) of all topics touched on this particular thread. Starting with the 'Emo' part.

Yes, I agree that Edward is Emo, very much emo, because he hates being a vampire and he does not want Bella to be doomed to forever walk the world as everything else fades. Sure he wears designer sweaters and has bronze hair. He doesn't wear eyeliner or cut himself. You can very much be emo without looking like you live in Hot Topic. Emo is a state of mind, a life style, a clothing style, a music style, a fad, a scene. Emo is anything an 'emo' person makes it to be. I could be emo and wear pink tutus but still be emo. Because I am sure enough in my own--- anyway, where was I? Oh, Edward is most defiantly emo. Just not the stereotypical media portrayed emo.

Next, Stephenie's new species of 'vampires' were different than the conventional, but Armus, if you want to read about a new kind of vampire read Peeps, by Scott Westerfeld. I can see you like to analyze every little part of books you probably won't like it. That is just my opinion of what you would think of it any way. I liked it, it was a brand new and completely original form of new vampire that I hadn't seen in any other vampire story.

Sure, they are gary sues, but so what? This is just another point of over analyzing the Twilight Books. Bella meets the boy of her dreams, she doesn't see any flaws in. I don't see any flaws in my Boyfriend, Josh. Because I love him with all my heart, and I have the ability to look over any little dints or other things, all I see is the perfect man of my dreams. Like Bella, she doesn't see the flaws in Edward because she doesn't want to. And the reason why we don't know what Edwards or any one of the other Cullen's flaws are is because it is in Bella's point of view.

And the bit about being put into a movie bit. Eragon was an...interesting book. But I have had more interesting roleplays than that entire book. Sure I liked it, but nothing in it was really new. An ill fated romance. The entire future of an entire civilization resting on a teenagers shoulders. Yeah. Okay. Suuure. It was an interesting book to read, that's about it. And then the movie came and killed any more respect I had for the book. I mean...just uhg! And the Harry Potter books? Loved them! Every little detail put into those books made me love them even more, I have waited these past few years in anticipation to get my hands on the last book. And I loved it. The movies? I only watched each one once, because they just made me sick to my stomach. The movies were horrible compared to the books. They cut Peeves out of the ENTIRE movie series. Peeves and Fred and George made the fifth book, for me anyway. I hate the movies with a passion, but because I am a fan, I shall force myself to watch the last to movies, just to see how bad they mess them up.

Next point of topic. The Twilight books were not meant to be analyzed from every angle and looked into so deeply. Anything can be ruined by looking into it too deeply. That is also being emo, well better known as pessimist, and I am sure someone will scream at me about that, but I don't particularly care. That's my opinion. Anyway, sure the vampires come off as being perfect characters. You know how Mrs. Meyer wrote the books? They spun off on a dream she had about a perfect guy in a DREAM of hers. No wonder they came off as perfect. I really don't see that particular reason is you read the book and didn't like it. You read the book. You didn't like it. Move on and read another book to drown out the book you didn't like. That's what I do when I read a book I don't like. I build a bridge and get effing over it! No need to talk about a touchy subject to people who love the thing you hate/despise/or just really don't like. Its like preaching God to a Muslim. They won't listen, and will probably shoot you.

Oh yes, and the reason why Edward and the other Cullen's were in high school was explained. By Edward I believe. I am not sure which book. But he said they did that every now and then out of shear boredom, just like how Emmett and Rosalie have gotten married 4 times. He also said that a few of them (I forget who) had gone through college in several different fields.

So let's all just drop our shovels and step away from the big hole we are all digging, M'kay?

So...that's my opinion. Scream at the computer screen at my ignorance or brilliance, I don't care.